Affected by perfection? Driving force and stumbling block

The conversation for the insider report on Niklas Römer, one of the best wide receivers in Germany, really impressed me deeply. Rarely have I met such a focused and - especially in terms of sports psychology - self-taught athlete. One thing became completely clear to me during my visit to Niklas' family: He definitely inherited his athletic abilities! Both his mother and father are true athletes through and through. But of course, every coin has two sides. **Perfectionism as a Driving Force and Obstacle** His mother told me how one day she mentioned to Niklas that all the other kids in the neighborhood could already ride a bike, except him. It took five minutes until Niklas ran outside, got on his bike, and only came back inside when he could do it. I learned of many more examples, whether it was learning to play the guitar or keyboard, where Niklas, with his strong will, delved into the subject until he mastered the technique. His family told me a story that, in my opinion, describes very well who Niklas Römer, one of the top players of the German serial champion New Yorker Lions, really is. The story is about a Rubik's Cube. A few years ago, he accidentally found one at his family's house shortly before Christmas. He tried and tried, read instructions, and watched videos on the internet all night until he finally solved it, only then could he sleep. When his brother saw how much fun he was having with this cube, he ordered one for him online the next day. When on the same day two packages suddenly arrived at the family's house, everyone was confused. It turned out that Niklas had already ordered one for himself. **Everything Turns into a Competition** But I also met family members who talked about how exhausting it can sometimes be to stand next to such an ambitious person. What it's like to plan a cozy bowling evening with him to enjoy some quality time, and Niklas comes with a completely different goal - he also wants to win here. They wish for his future that he learns to let go in those moments and be able to embrace new goals instead of always being in competition. From a sports psychology perspective, this is certainly interesting and a starting point for a concrete collaboration: However, in our previous conversations, I found that Niklas has found a good way to actively eliminate strongly negative thoughts when he doesn't achieve his goals. **Fear and Self-Doubt** These negative thoughts like fear and self-doubt often impose themselves on individuals with this personality disposition and are therefore the biggest challenge for the "affected person". However, this does not always have to have negative effects, especially in the context of sports, as prominent examples from other sports also show. Specifically, I would work with Niklas on various relaxation techniques. I think it is important to actively allow oneself some peace and also learn to actively steer towards serenity in leisure sports. For this, I would particularly recommend and practice progressive muscle relaxation, autogenic training, and meditation with him. **What Are Actually His Weaknesses?** But back to the "kitchen table" of Niklas' family: I listened as his mom talked about how incredibly proud she is of her son and how close they are, despite the great distance. Not to forget his brother, who had to think for a damn long time about what his brother's weaknesses actually are. Ultimately, I want to thank you, dear Römers, for allowing me to delve so deeply into your family and your shared history on that day. Even though there were so many very private stories, far too private for me to use in this article, I did get the chance to get to know and understand this Niklas Römer much better. I am convinced that looking at his journey can help many of us move forward: **So, all you fantastic athletes out there, all you wonderful receivers: Now you know the way to your goal - get on your way there:** **Literature:** - Vopel, Klaus (2010). Mental Training: Visualization and trance techniques in sports. Iskopress Verlag - Aellig, Steff (2004). About the Sense of Nonsense: Experiencing Flow and Well-being as Incentives for Autotelic Activity: A Study with the Experience Sampling Method (ESM) Using Rock Climbing as an Example. Waxmann Verlag - Lindemann, Hannes. 2004. Autogenic Training: The Proven Way to Relaxation. Goldmann Verlag - Hainbuch, Friedrich. 2014. Progressive Muscle Relaxation. Gräfe and Unzer Verlag GmbH - Mannschatz, Maria. 2015. Meditation: More Clarity and Inner Peace. Gräfe and Unzer Verlag GmbH