After the Game
Babak Rafati has Iranian roots and has made a name for himself in Germany as the first Bundesliga referee with an immigrant background. As a child, he learned that he had to be strong and without mistakes in order to be loved and accepted. In the world of football, he almost breaks under this demand.Babak Rafati is born in Hannover. When he is four years old, his parents return to their homeland in Iran. His father is a warm-hearted free spirit - his mother is rather cold and very ambitious. When the parents separate, the father goes back to Hannover and brings the eight-year-old son to him at Babak's request. Babak now wants to establish himself in German society. In his free time, he plays soccer. His talent is not enough for a dreamed professional career, but he seizes the opportunity of becoming a referee. At the same time, he learns to be a bank clerk and later rises to become the manager of a savings bank branch.
As a referee, Babak is also successful. Since 2005, he has been refereeing in the 1st Bundesliga, and three years later, he becomes an international FIFA referee. The world of football reinforces his demand for perfection and his self-image as a strong man. In 2010, Babak's problems begin. The referee commission gets new leadership, and Babak misses their support. He makes significant mistakes, is suspended from the 1st Bundesliga for weeks. The pressure mounts. Players repeatedly choose him as the worst Bundesliga referee in the Kicker magazine, fans insult him - and he feels abandoned by his bosses. He has problems with his Achilles tendon but ignores his body's signals and pushes beyond pain thresholds. During a training course, he casually learns that he has been removed as a FIFA referee. He feels betrayed and has a panic fear of making mistakes. For many years, he was a referee out of passion - now he perceives this position as an existential threat. On November 19, 2011, Babak Rafati sees no way out but suicide. Just in time, he is found and taken to the hospital. This is followed by the most difficult time of his life. Only after six weeks does he find a doctor he trusts. He admits to himself that he is in a deep depression. Gradually, he learns to accept help and to perceive himself and his needs. Finally, Babak Rafati realizes that he is also loved by his environment when he shows weakness. Today, he gives lectures on his journey into depression and how he found his way out. He wants to destigmatize the topic and help others with his experiences.
