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The former FIFA referee Babak Rafati and his way out of depression

Babak Rafati, a former Bundesliga referee with Iranian roots, struggled with perfectionism and pressure in football. After a suicide attempt, he now shares his journey through depression to help others. A documentary about his story was aired in 2015.

The former FIFA referee Babak Rafati and his way out of depression

After the Game

Babak Rafati has Iranian roots and has made a name for himself in Germany as the first Bundesliga referee with an immigrant background. As a child, he learned that he had to be strong and without mistakes in order to be loved and accepted. In the world of football, he almost breaks under this demand.

Babak Rafati is born in Hannover. When he is four years old, his parents return to their homeland in Iran. His father is a warm-hearted free spirit - his mother is rather cold and very ambitious. When the parents separate, the father goes back to Hannover and brings the eight-year-old son to him at Babak's request. Babak now wants to establish himself in German society. In his free time, he plays soccer. His talent is not enough for a dreamed professional career, but he seizes the opportunity of becoming a referee. At the same time, he learns to be a bank clerk and later rises to become the manager of a savings bank branch.

As a referee, Babak is also successful. Since 2005, he has been refereeing in the 1st Bundesliga, and three years later, he becomes an international FIFA referee. The world of football reinforces his demand for perfection and his self-image as a strong man. In 2010, Babak's problems begin. The referee commission gets new leadership, and Babak misses their support. He makes significant mistakes, is suspended from the 1st Bundesliga for weeks. The pressure mounts. Players repeatedly choose him as the worst Bundesliga referee in the Kicker magazine, fans insult him - and he feels abandoned by his bosses. He has problems with his Achilles tendon but ignores his body's signals and pushes beyond pain thresholds. During a training course, he casually learns that he has been removed as a FIFA referee. He feels betrayed and has a panic fear of making mistakes. For many years, he was a referee out of passion - now he perceives this position as an existential threat. On November 19, 2011, Babak Rafati sees no way out but suicide. Just in time, he is found and taken to the hospital. This is followed by the most difficult time of his life. Only after six weeks does he find a doctor he trusts. He admits to himself that he is in a deep depression. Gradually, he learns to accept help and to perceive himself and his needs. Finally, Babak Rafati realizes that he is also loved by his environment when he shows weakness. Today, he gives lectures on his journey into depression and how he found his way out. He wants to destigmatize the topic and help others with his experiences.

Background on the Life Lines about Babak Rafati

Life Lines author Angelika Lizius In November 2011, I read in the newspaper about Babak Rafati's suicide attempt - shortly before a Bundesliga match he was supposed to officiate. My initial thoughts were about the incredible pressure that players, coaches, and referees in this billion-dollar football business must endure, and that it is not surprising if some collapse under this pressure. When I saw Babak Rafati in a talk show after his recovery, I was amazed at how openly he spoke about his depression. I then read his book, in which he not only talks about his experiences in the football world but also very honestly about his childhood, his wishes and goals, and the downward spiral that ended in a suicide attempt. I decided to inquire with him for a Life Lines film. Because it was clear to me that his experiences can also be applied to most other professions: external pressure, high self-expectations, fear of failure, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness - these are experiences many can relate to. The filming was very intense. Babak Rafati returned with us to places with painful memories - supported by his wife Rouja, his father, and his in-laws, who were willing to participate in our film project.

Film Info

Monday, November 30, 2015 at 9:00 PM Bayerischer Rundfunk (BR) Original Title: Babak Rafati - After the Game (D, 2015) Director: Angelika Lizius Editorial Department: Christiane von Hahn Duration: 45 minutes 16:9, VT-UT, stereo

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