What Should I Do With My Hands? – Using Body Language Correctly on Stage
If we look at the typical problems that arise in a rhetoric course, a presentation training, or a coaching session for stage appearances, one question always comes up:
What should I actually do with my hands?
Something that works completely naturally in everyday life suddenly feels surprisingly difficult on stage, in a presentation, or during a keynote.
How should I hold my hands?
Which gestures match what I am saying?
And how can my body language look as natural as possible?
Why Gestures on Stage Often Look Artificial
Many people try to illustrate individual words with gestures.
For example:
- Pointing to themselves when saying “me”
- Mimicking falling drops with their fingers when saying “rain”
- Rubbing thumb and index finger together when saying “money”
The problem is that this type of word-based gesturing quickly appears artificial, sometimes even ridiculous.
The reason is simple: our natural body language does not illustrate individual words, but always thoughts.
Natural Body Language Illustrates Thoughts – Not Words
An example:
The thought is:
“The difficult thing about talking on the phone is that you cannot look each other in the eyes.”
This thought does not need three separate gestures:
- Waving a hand when saying “difficult”
- Holding a hand to the ear when saying “talking on the phone”
- Pointing to the eyes when saying “eyes”
That would not look natural, but rather exaggerated.
A thought is a single unit – therefore the body language should support that thought as a whole.
How Gestures Support Emotion and Meaning
A sentence such as:
“I lay my heart at your feet.”
should not be illustrated literally:
- “I” → point to yourself
- “heart” → grab your chest
- “feet” → point to the floor
It is far more effective to support the emotion behind the thought.
Examples:
- If the sentence is meant humbly → slightly go down on one knee
- If it is meant urgently → wring your hands
- If it is meant emotionally → use open, engaging gestures
The gestures therefore support the emotion, not the individual words.
The Correct Order: Thought – Movement – Speech
Many unnatural gestures arise because of the wrong sequence.
In natural communication, the following happens:
- A thought arises
- A movement follows
- The words are spoken
For example:
Thought → hand to the forehead → “Now I’ve got it!”
On stage, many speakers do exactly the opposite:
“Now I remember!” → hand to the forehead.
This reversed order quickly looks acted or theatrical.
Why You Should Not Control Your Hands
Many people try to consciously control their hand movements.
This almost always leads to a feeling of insecurity.
Try the following:
- Take a relaxed hand position
- “Freeze” this position deliberately
- Focus only on your hands
How does it feel?
Usually strange or unnatural.
The reason: as soon as we consciously control body language, it loses its naturalness.
The Biggest Mistake in Stage Gestures
A widely repeated piece of advice is:
“Keep your hands in the neutral zone around the belt line.”
However, this advice is nonsense.
People who try to constantly hold their hands at belt level often appear stiff or even awkward.
Natural gestures arise from thoughts, emotions, and engagement – not from rigid rules.
The Best Tip for Natural Body Language
My advice is therefore:
Let your hands simply do what they do.
If you have time during your greeting or presentation to think about what your hands are doing, your presentation is probably too simple.
On stage, you are a complete work of art consisting of:
- Voice
- Content
- Body language
- Presence
- Emotion
And if your hands occasionally do something unusual, that is perfectly fine.
Good Rhetoric Begins with Preparation
Entertaining, persuading, or inspiring an audience is above all a matter of preparation.
When thoughts are clear, messages are structured, and emotions are authentic, the body language follows automatically.
More about this in my book:
“Rhetoric Is Not an Art, but Not a Problem.”
Michael Rossié, CSP, is one of the leading experts in rhetoric, body language, and effective communication. In his keynotes and trainings, he shows how people can present themselves confidently, communicate clearly, and truly connect with their audience. You can find more information about him on his profile.
