Previously valued as a colleague and addressed with "Du" by everyone, someone is now climbing a step or more higher on the career ladder. And suddenly, the familiar "Du" turns into a "Sie." Do you recognize this?
What consequences arise from this? What signals do "those who rise" send with this? A newly appointed supervisor, whether female or male, who switches from "Du" to "Sie" internally after their promotion upwards, often faces suspicion, frustration, and misunderstanding, and is easily labeled as "arrogant" or "aloof." And often, the subordinates wonder what's going on with the "new person up there." This issue may be particularly relevant for individuals who advance from an apprenticeship to top leadership positions within a company. Sometimes the motives for such behavior can be understandable in themselves, but they are often not communicated at all or poorly. For example, if internal emails start using "Sie" instead of the previous "Du," the concern behind it might be that the email could also be seen by an external third party, and "Du" might seem too familiar. However, if this external third party happens to know that the new supervisor and employee have been on a first-name basis, the "Sie" will also raise questions for them. Language offers enough variations to resolve this issue. An alternative can be found below. Another reason why a supervisor now uses "Sie," even though they previously used "Du" as equals, may lie in the personality structure of that individual. The range extends from low self-confidence, insecurity in the new role, to the concern: Will I be taken seriously if I allow employees to address me informally? Only a weak leadership personality would think like that. Those who lead confidently through knowledge, skills, and convincing rhetoric and body language are not diminished by the informal address. So the question arises: How do I handle the transition from "Du" to "Sie" when climbing the career ladder?
- As often in life, "the tone makes the music." Moreover, etiquette rules teach us that once "Du" is given, it is generally not taken back!
- Those who fear not being able to handle addressing their subordinates informally as a leader should consistently stick to "Sie" even before their first career step. However, this should also be communicated accordingly, and not reject an offer to switch to "Du" without comment.
- What's wrong with keeping communication, for example, in emails, in an informal style? And if it is necessary to use "Sie" in well-founded individual cases, it is advisable to announce this change from "Du" to "Sie" beforehand. However, this communication step is often missing, with the consequences mentioned above.
- Some supervisors try to escape this dilemma by distinguishing between internal communication and communication in the presence of external parties. This can be a practical approach if done with the right words and careful preparation. And carried out with concentration and discipline.
But you know: nobody is perfect - so it can naturally happen that the informal address slips out unintentionally in front of third parties. I leave it to your interpretation to determine the impact and value of the forced "Sie" in that case. You can also experience this in TV interviews and discussions - with athletes as well as politicians: For viewers, a seemingly neutral and distancing "Sie" is used, only to slip into "Du" in a moment of carelessness. How revealing and unconvincing! In conclusion: If you manage to present yourself as a supervisor confidently and credibly through a harmonious combination of your choice of words and body language, you will be taken seriously and accepted. The question of "Du" or "Sie" will become almost entirely obsolete. I wish you much success on the career ladder and fruitful discussions on the topic of "Du" or "Sie." Feel free to reach out to me if you have any doubts. Warm regards, Peter A. Worel
