Of strengths and weaknesses - but above all of strengths

Once upon a time there was school time. Let's assume you were not a math genius. Percentage calculation might be sufficient, but now you are facing a curve discussion. A subsequent error creeps in. Unnoticed, you enthusiastically bring the curve discussion to an end. Enthusiastic? Yes, because it is the first curve discussion that you manage to complete without assistance and are absolutely sure of what you are doing. You have finally understood the principle. But what does your teacher say: Good, good, if it weren't for the subsequent error. Or another example: art class. You have finally perfected the brushstroke of van Gogh. Incredible, you have worked on it for so long and finally succeeded. Unfortunately, the proportions of the motif are not correct. It's not worth more than a 4.0... Ironically, this failure occupies you longer than the joy of getting a 1.0 in Biology or German. You can do that easily, it's not worth much. It's a pity that we were raised this way. That we grew up like this. A 1+ in our favorite subject was not worth as much as a 1+ in a subject that was difficult for us. Right? This means, in reverse, that we have never fully exploited and perfected our talents because we were always busy strengthening our weaknesses. Now, imagine if everyone did that. Then we are all moderately good at everything, with minimal differences. No wonder that nowadays we don't celebrate geniuses like Chopin, Goethe, or Einstein. It's time to change that! "It is better to focus on strengths than to constantly struggle with weaknesses. Weaknesses cannot be turned into strengths. Those who try that let their true talents wither, tire themselves out, and prevent one thing: real achievement far from average." (cf. Lemper-Pychlau & Schneider-Blümchen, 2013) Howard Gardner has long been concerned with people's gifts. He established ten basic intelligences: linguistic intelligence, logical-mathematical intelligence, associative-creative intelligence, spatial intelligence, musical intelligence, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, naturalistic intelligence, intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence, and spiritual intelligence. In general, two of these intelligences are particularly strong in each person from birth. The combinations and levels of strength are as individual as our fingerprint. This means that basically, from birth, we each have our very own expert for every specific concern. "If our ten basic intelligences are the scale, then our talents are the chords we play on it. But before a skill can be called a strength by us, we must first be able to perform it steadily and consistently and almost perfectly. This means that our strengths are a predictable part of our performance." (cf. Christiani & Scheelen, 2008) So far, so good. So, you could take an intelligence test, determine your basic intelligences, quit your job, and find a perfectly fitting one. After all, tasks in the area of your intelligences should come naturally to you. Well, not so fast! The basis on which the development and recognition of strengths - which must first emerge from intelligences and talents - are built is a solid self-esteem. Only when you are able to reflect a realistic self-image and know what inspires and influences you, can you become consciously aware of your strengths and deliberately further develop them. So, step #1 is to strengthen your self-esteem and train it like a muscle. This includes, for example, accepting a compliment and questioning it carefully. Don't be modest, don't reject positive attention. Instead, question how the compliment came about and thus discover the trail of your talents. Another indicator and therefore step #2 are your values. "Of course, there is a connection between values and strengths: If an activity is important to you or brings you great joy, i.e., arises from a strongly pronounced value, the likelihood is high that you will intensively engage with this topic. So, what you enjoy also develops into a special strength." (cf. Christiani & Scheelen, 2008) According to Eduard Spranger, there are six basic values: theoretical, economic, aesthetic, social, individualistic, and traditional values. Why not ask colleagues, friends, or relatives! Which values appeal to you? The third step is about getting down to business: naming your explicit strengths. Believe me, it's worth living according to your strengths, because that means: ... being authentic, ... standing up for yourself, ... building on solid ground, ... being with yourself, ... constantly developing, ... experiencing the joy of the famous flow, and ... knowing your purpose. In my seminar on this topic, I help you get a detailed picture of yourself, get to know your motivators, strengthen your values, and finally work out your strengths. Then we develop a strategy together to use them in everyday life and make a living from them. But to start, I recommend the following questions, which you should also evaluate with friends or trusted individuals - four eyes see more than two: Who are your role models and what do you admire about them? Who do you envy and why? What do trusted individuals particularly appreciate about you? When was the last time you were really happy and why? What is your most impressive childhood memory? Which talents were you particularly proud of as a child? What do you do first in a crisis situation? What do you like about yourself? What are you waiting for? Bury your curve discussion once and for all and focus again on your 1.0 in Biology - metaphorically, of course. Strengths make you happy!