Active constructive communication turns good news into a true fireworks of joy
When something really good happens to you, when happiness hits you with full force and you overflow with joy, what is your first impulse? You want to share it! Now! Immediately! With the whole world! It literally bursts out of you. Sometimes you can hardly put it into the right words, as your heart overflows with joy. You feel like everyone should immediately feel how happy you are - and be happy for you too!
The Human Factor
We don't have to make ourselves better than we are. When we receive bad news, it is easy for us to show interest and offer comfort. We feel better because we are not experiencing the situation ourselves, and the other person at least feels heard. It's said that he has "poured his heart out" and feels good. But when we hear that something good has happened, the ugly, little voice of envy speaks up within us. We want to have that kind of luck too! And suddenly it's not so easy to be happy for the other person and express it. Even worse: sometimes we don't want to hear anything more and would rather see the person disappear immediately. But the thing about happiness is that it only grows when shared. Moreover, it's a huge compliment when someone wants to share their good news with you as one of the first people. You are important, it tells you that!
Let the Happiness Explosion Happen!
Now it's up to you whether the happiness explosion happens. Even if you don't feel envy, you can unconsciously send the wrong signal and turn happiness into a dud. There are four ways to react: Passive destructive: We don't react or make a dismissive gesture. Maybe we completely ignore the other person. By doing this, we destroy their happiness and make ourselves unhappy. The envy remains, but now we also feel bad. Passive constructive: We show polite empathy towards the other person's feelings. Our body language remains distant, our smile is cool, and we say bland sentences like, "This must be something very special for you." The other person senses that something is off with the reaction and turns away. After that, they will surely never share anything good with you again. Active destructive: This is about destroying instead of reinforcing. Reacting with something like, "You're just the second choice," or "Don't get too excited too soon!" Brrr, it's freezing cold with that kind of emotional response. Quickly away! Active constructive: Yes, here it's wonderfully warm. The sun is shining here! We share the other person's joy completely, with our body language, our voice, and our facial expression. We are almost more excited than the recipient of the good news themselves. "Incredible, that's absolutely amazing!" I say in those situations and mean it. What happens then, I call a happiness explosion. Suddenly, happiness shoots up, and a piece of good news turns into a feeling of happiness for everyone. I'll tell you a little secret: I am so addicted to happiness, I can't get enough of good news. Sometimes I even coax them out. I know, it's cheating, but I can't help it. Sharing joy is simply the most beautiful thing in the world! My Tip: Call a friend or acquaintance and ask them to tell you something good from their life. It can be something small, as long as they were happy about it. A praise or a compliment maybe. Even if they have to think about it a bit, you will hear the joy in their voice and see it in their eyes. Smile and be happy, and then say with complete conviction how great you think it is and how happy you are for them. Can you feel it? That tingling in your stomach? Watch out, happiness is overflowing!
