Prevent Christmas stress and New Year's resolutions early

Christmas Stress and New Year's Resolutions

Every year again: Christmas is actually a contemplative holiday, but right on time for the Christmas season, most of us are at risk of acute stress. Crowded shopping malls, annoying relatives, trouble with partners, and on top of that, the daily work routine. We spoke with Ralph Goldschmidt, successful speaker and author, about the topic "Christmas stress and New Year's resolutions": Mr. Goldschmidt, one gets the feeling that people are even more stressed during Advent every year than the year before. Why has Christmas stress intensified in the supposedly most contemplative time of the year in recent years? My impression is that this is not only the case during Advent, but that stress has been increasing continuously for many people throughout the whole year. Especially during Advent, it is added that one wants to somehow manage to achieve some of the things one has planned professionally or privately at the last minute. In the past, the year was allowed to wind down from the beginning or at the latest by mid-December, but today in many jobs, the year-end rally continues until Christmas Eve. Most sales are made during the Christmas season. No trace of contemplation. And then Christmas is just around the corner: Who to celebrate with? Where to celebrate? How to celebrate? What to gift? What can be done to keep Christmas stress to a minimum? From my point of view, it helps: Clarify early enough with all parties involved how Christmas will be celebrated. And buy gifts early enough. Small tip: Last year, I gave "time instead of stuff" as gifts. Not a single "thing", instead: a father-son football weekend with my little son, tandem skydiving with my big son, etc., just experiences. Nothing to hoard, collect, and eventually dispose of again... just "something to take with you". It was very well received! In addition, it was a relaxed gifting throughout the year. It created a connection to the recipients that went far beyond a single, hectic moment on Christmas Eve. The Christmas season is considered the most contemplative time of the year. But especially during Advent, there are many disputes and crises in families or relationships. Where do you see the reasons for this? Too many people who see each other little, sometimes for very good reasons throughout the year, want, should, "must" celebrate a harmonious festival together at Christmas. They also often have very different ideas about how to best organize this gathering. As a special feature during the holidays, the demand is added that everything must be great and everyone should please everyone. But since the ideas of what would be "great" already vary, this cannot function smoothly. The compromises that individuals make in this regard are not always genuine compromises. Instead, behind a YES to this, there is sometimes a NO to the agreement. And whenever you say YES when you actually mean NO, you create a source of stress and open the door to disputes and crises. Christmas is also considered a family holiday. But many people (singles, older people, ...) feel particularly lonely at Christmas. How can one best deal with this feeling and make the best of the festival for oneself? Christmas is the family holiday, even though there is no other holiday where there is almost as much arguing as at Christmas. I know people who would love to avoid this argument and would be happy to celebrate Christmas alone. However, this does not apply to most. My recommendation: Think about who feels the same way and then celebrate together. Celebrating with friends and acquaintances works. I even have the impression that this trend is becoming increasingly popular. It is certainly not easy for everyone to ask their friends to celebrate with them, especially at Christmas. But if one realizes that quite a few feel somehow similar, then it is worth considering. What do you think of New Year's resolutions? I generally think it is sensible to plan something that is good for you. Because: Only when you are doing well can you give your best to the world. Most people resolve to have less stress, spend more time with themselves, family, and friends, exercise more, and eat healthier in the new year. And more and more people want to be offline more often. But you don't have to wait for New Year's Eve for all these good intentions. You can start anytime. Why do we set ourselves ambitious goals especially at the turn of the year? And why are these goals so often doomed to fail? The turn of the year is a balance sheet date. We look back on the past year, look ahead to the coming year. Almost automatically, thoughts come to mind about wanting to change one habit or another. About every second German resolves something on New Year's Eve, and significantly fewer than half of them manage to keep their intentions longer than three months. The main reason why implementation often fails is that we usually formulate the intentions from the mind. They are rational and moral in nature. However, we are much more controlled by our unconscious than by reason. The unconscious decides purely based on hedonistic principles, asking: Does this make me happy or not. Few rational intentions are enjoyable! How can one motivate oneself to really implement their resolutions? It is often heard and read that we have to overcome our inner demons, with willpower, self-control, and a good dose of self-discipline. Unfortunately, this does not work well for long-term goals, among other things because the path through self-control is very exhausting. We get tired quickly. And then we give up our intentions. Do you have a final tip for our readers on how to get through the upcoming Christmas festival and New Year's transition well? A very simple one: Do not set your expectations for YOUR festival too high. And do not try to please everyone. Mr. Goldschmidt, thank you for the interesting conversation!