Speedy Gonzales

Fidgety Philipp learns to brake. Coaching report.

Pedro is 19 years old. He is undergoing training as an automotive salesman in a large car dealership. A few days ago, his boss threatened to fire him if he did not change his behavior within four weeks. His parents say he rubs everyone the wrong way: his trainers, colleagues, customers... Ten years ago, the pediatrician diagnosed him with ADHD and prescribed Methylphenidate. When Pedro turned 18 last year, this doctor refused any further treatment. After that, as the parents report in the initial consultation, Pedro fell into a deep hole emotionally. He became increasingly restless, inattentive, and aggressive. Four weeks ago, on the recommendation of the family doctor, the family found a psychiatrist who treats adult ADHD patients. Pedro is back on Methylphenidate and has since become somewhat calmer. But apparently not calm enough, as he is at risk of losing his training position. Now the young man is in coaching with me. A friendly, slightly fidgety, gum-chewing guy with a cap and a friendly grin on his face. He has made himself very comfortable in the visitor's chair and looks at me - almost lying down - expectantly with dark, glowing eyes. Coach: Well, how are you? Uh, oh, sorry, should I address you formally? Client coolly: Using "Du" is fine. He grins, swiftly turns his cap backwards, shrugs, and nods: Yep, I'm okay. Coach: Okay, so what should we do now? Your parents mentioned stress last week - related to your training. How do you see it? Client turns his cap forward: Oh, they always stress me out! Coach: Who exactly? Client: Everyone! Coach: Who is everyone? The cap turns back: Mr. Müller. Coach: Who else? Client chews vigorously on his gum: Mrs. Meyer, that stupid cow! His cap moves forward. Coach: Oh, she's black and white, has four legs, and says "Moo"? Client hesitates: Uh, no! He shakes his head in horror and can't laugh about it. Coach: So, who are Mr. Müller and Mrs. Meyer then? Client: Trainers and boss. Coach: Okay, and they stress you out? When? Client: When I forget something, or when I talk to customers on the phone. And about how the desk looks. Oh, everything! The cap does a full circle. Coach: What else is part of "everything"? Client sits up: I get nervous quickly. Also, I start to stutter under pressure. Oh, and I'm somehow too loud. His face is flaming red. The cap has completed two rounds. Coach: Okay, what do you think, should we sort out the stress a bit now? Client chews on his gum and looks doubtfully from under the brim of his cap. Coach: Oh, by the way, did you know that chewing gum distracts you from thinking? Client widens his eyes, sits up. Coach: The tongue movement while chewing doesn't match the words you're thinking in your head. That means, if you're reading a text and chewing at the same time, it costs concentration and memory. Client looks surprised and helpless. Coach: You probably want to get rid of your gum now, right? Here's a tissue. There's the trash can. The gum disappears. The cap does another full circle. Coach: A hot tip for you. It's best not to bring gum to work in the first place. It's annoying during phone calls anyway, right? You have such a nice voice. It would be a shame if people couldn't hear it properly! Client smiles and nods. Coach: While we're on the topic of phone calls - do you enjoy talking to customers on the phone? Client nods again. The cap makes a half turn. Coach: And what do the customers say? Client: Some think I'm too fast, and then I get nervous when no one understands me anymore. He fidgets with his legs. Coach: Hey, there's a trick to take out some energy... watch me... I slowly turn my hands around the wrist: And now you! Client looks puzzled at his hands. His legs stop moving. The cap now almost covers his face. Coach: Help, I can't see you anymore! Would you mind taking off your cool cap for a moment? Client takes off the cap and hesitantly places it on the desk. He looks unsure. Coach: Great, thanks! Now look back at me. I start circling my hands again. Client tries to imitate. Slow at first, then faster. He is happy and smiles at the coach: Cool! Coach: Attention! Keep the circles even. And slooowly! During your next phone call with a customer, let one hand circle, it will take speed and energy out of your voice. Out of your whole body. Okay? Client nods! Coach: And before you even pick up the receiver, take a deep breath and count to three. Client nods again! Coach: Is there something you're really good at, and that exudes calmness? Client nods spontaneously: My pet turtle! It hardly ever moves. Just lies there all cool. Coach picks up a phone and starts dialing: Listen, if your phone rings now, take a deep breath, count slowly to three, and mentally bring up the image of your cool pet turtle. BEFORE you answer! The phone rings. The client breathes deeply, concentrates. His eyes shift to the upper left, then he picks up. Coach: Great! It's best to practice this at home with your phone. It will work even better at work. - And what was that again? You sometimes stutter? On the phone? Client blushes and shakes his head. Coach: When does that happen? Client squirms: With Mr. Müller. Coach: Always? Client nods sadly. Coach: Also with Mrs. Meyer? Client nods again. Coach: And otherwise? Client shakes his head. Coach: Those are your two bosses, right? Client nods. Coach: Okay, now imagine Mr. Müller approaching you to say something. Client moves his body back, showing signs of stress. Coach: Say, when I look out the window here, I see a red sports car outside. Is that yours? Client relaxes and grins: Yeah, got it for my driver's license! Coach: Great. So, you're really speeding around here? Client grins even wider and nods. Coach: So, you must also have to brake properly often, right? Coach steps to emphasize his words on an imaginary brake. Client: Yep! Coach: Wow, I have an idea! Every time Mr. Müller approaches you, you press the brake under the desk - just like in that red sports car. Give it a try! The client is amazed and looks at his feet. Coach: Attention, head up, here comes Mr. Müller! And now, brake, brake hard, even harder. Client brakes and appears concentrated, almost pensive. Coach: Very good! You can release the brake. Mr. Müller is gone. What happened when you just braked? Client: Everything slows down, it's not as hectic, not as stressful. Coach: Great, let's try that again? And now say something to Mr. Müller, like "Yes, I'll do that right away" or similar. Attention: Mr. Müller is approaching, you brake and say something. Client brakes with his right foot: Yes, Mr. Müller, I'll do that right away! And then looks at the coach in amazement. Coach: How does it feel? Client incredulously: I can't believe it, somehow completely different, cooler, without stress! Coach: Now you have a built-in brake for quick thoughts and overheated emotions. Practice this repeatedly, encounters with people important to you will become much more normal. And your speech will also stay normal! Remember, you also tend to forget tasks to be done? Client remorsefully: Yes, everyone wants something from me, and, oh, then I forget so much. Coach