Whoever pays attention to the customer's body language during a conversation will inevitably be successful. Through body language, you can read your customers' feelings like an open book. And depending on the need, you can also control your counterpart with knowledge of body signals.
The Secret Water Glass
During significant deals, as well as during important job interviews for key positions in our company, I offer my counterpart a glass of water. This has the advantage that the applicant or customer can demarcate his area at the table with the object. Depending on the personality, he places the glass closer to the edge or in the middle of the table. This way, I can determine his needs from the start. Through the water glass or coffee cup, the customer also unconsciously sends me signals about whether he is open or closed to my idea. For right-handed individuals, full openness applies when the glass is placed on the right side. If my customer sips from the glass before answering, this indicates a deception complex. The customer does not yet feel secure about the idea and wants to buy some time. Now, do not apply pressure and stay quiet. Instead, it's better to ask again what is still unclear. If he adjusts the glass or other objects on the table, he is ready to negotiate. Hand gestures at the table also have significant implications for the customer's current feelings.
Snowplow or Porcupine
If the customer holds his hands protectively in front of him like a snowplow, he indicates that none of your arguments have hit him yet or that he is pushing the proposal aside like a plow. If he forms his snowplow into a roof, you should definitely avoid attacking his "protective argument." He indicates that his idea is sacred to him. If the customer crosses his fingers into a porcupine shape, you should definitely take a break or switch to another topic. The porcupine already shows the first signs of combat readiness, with the motto "Don't come closer or I'll sting you!" A more intense escalation can be identified immediately if the customer forms his hands into a pistol, indicating, "One more word and I'll shoot!"
What Fingers Reveal
Fingers can often reveal the type of customer/conversation partner I am dealing with. It is important to observe which fingers he/she uses the most or adorns with rings. The thumb indicates dominance and a claim to power. Like Caesar, who decided whether a gladiator should live or die with his thumb. You should listen attentively at the beginning of a conversation with such individuals or even give a compliment. You will be surprised how quickly the customer will open the door to trust for you. Many politicians and managers unconsciously use the thumb in speeches or displays of power. The index finger is used by "know-it-alls" to emphasize their right. Beware of people who also adorn this finger with rings. These customers prefer to always be in the teacher's domain and constantly be right. Therefore, use questioning techniques throughout the conversation. Transform your answers into questions so that the customer believes all ideas come from his mouth. Never engage in a total argument confrontation, as you will immediately lose all trust. Before my trip to India, a wise mentor gave me the following tip. "Use the index finger in foreign countries only for learning (pointing out), never for teaching (pointing at)." The middle finger is referred to as the rebellion finger in body language. In Italy, the extended middle finger signifies absolute victory – in our country, it conveys something unpleasant. People who consciously use or adorn the middle finger want to express that they do not belong to the boring norm. By using phrases like: ...not like the majority... different from 90% of people... etc., you can engage with these individuals, who will immediately feel understood and offer you their friendship. The heart finger clearly indicates a family-oriented person who is also willing to admit it. It is obvious that you can score points in the family area with these customers. The ring finger, when adorned, also indicates that the wearer represents the habit of thinking and acting in norms and traditions. I have often experienced during a sales conversation how a wearer repeatedly takes off and puts on their ring on the heart finger. This clearly indicates to me that the crucial step to take action could not be done without the partner's permission. In coaching conversations, I can often see that the stated problems are not the real causes when the conversation partner repeatedly takes off and plays with their ring on the heart finger. In most cases, it turns out that the issues lie in the relationship and can be resolved there. The little finger is called the society finger in body language. Coffee or tea drinkers clearly indicate that they are in society and show the best manners. This behavior can also be found at parties, with the little finger extended, meaning: I want to be in and need recognition in society. You can encounter such people in short small talk with a story about a ball, party, or cinema. Make comments like: "Your neighbors will be amazed... Your acquaintances will envy you... etc." After these remarks, you will quickly understand how important it is for top salespeople to be able to read customers' body signals. Anyone who underestimates body language in sales is missing out on valuable deals and contracts. Therefore, it is even more important to remain calm in every conversation to be able to observe. Even for me, as an old hand in body language and sales, it is difficult to observe for more than 10 minutes and lead the conversation through targeted questions. Let the conversation PARTNER speak and observe so that they feel understood. You can also see if the hands touch the head or face when statements are made. This is important and has a strong impact on steering the conversation.
Finger on the Forehead
Holding the index finger to the forehead means that new knowledge and experiences are directed straight into understanding. The customer is interested and attentive. However, no one can maintain this position unchanged for more than a quarter of an hour. When the support of the thumb to the chin eventually comes, the conversation partner expresses boredom or fatigue. The memory is full. Take a break, ask a question (Is this interesting for you?), or sip from the water glass. Nose smelling the finger Since ancient times, our ancestors smelled food to determine if it was digestible. We have retained this gesture, among many others, from our ancestors. We smell the index finger to determine if something is good or bad for us. If the conversation partner assumes this position, you should make a point in your presentation. Ask the customer for their opinion. "How do you like the idea of being able to easily use this advantage in the future?"
Index Finger on the Mouth
I often observe salespeople who continue talking incessantly even when the conversation partner hints that they also want to express their opinion. They emphasize this by placing a finger on their mouth: "I want to say something too, but I have to hold back my words." Good speakers or salespeople make a small pause at this moment and give the listener the opportunity to speak. As a speaker in front of an audience, I go so far as to provocatively ask the question: "Would you like to say something too?" However, keep in mind that you should also calculate more time buffer.
Index Finger on the Ear
"I want to hear more about that." For those wearing glasses who adjust their glasses: "I want to see through the matter better!" People without glasses stimulate the eye point at the ear with their thumb and index finger to send the same message. Pay attention to the messages conveyed by the hands on the head, neck, glasses, or table, and you will experience incredible conversations. If you ignore this, you will miss important messages! Start understanding today how you feel in this or that position yourself. Most of the time, these are the right messages that you should also convey to your counterpart in a conversation. Getting to the point Although I can only share a hundredth part of my body communication seminars with you here, I don't want to withhold a frequently observed gesture from you. If the conversation partner taps on a point (table, notepad, etc.) with an object, usually a pen or their fingers, you should finally get to the point and conclude the conversation. I have often observed supposedly good salespeople who, despite this clear signal, talked away the conclusion or ended up in a debate.
