Empathy meets High Sensitivity – Perfect Match or False Friends?
"Your empathy is admirable – how well you can adjust to people."
"Don't be so sensitive, he or she didn't mean it like that!"
Surely almost all of us have heard both of these sentences before. Maybe even in immediate connection.
In between are the famous nuances, for the one who speaks them and the equally famous worlds, for the one they are directed to.
Being sensitive or touchy – the competence of empathy and the trait of high sensitivity can be lousy false friends. Or also a Perfect Match.
As a Speaker focusing on high sensitivity, I often give lectures on various aspects of this topic, including the connection between empathy and high sensitivity.
It is very important to me to clarify the definitions.
Empathy refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and empathize with the emotions and feelings of other people.
It is a form of interpersonal connection and empathy.
High sensitivity, on the other hand, describes an increased reactivity of the nervous system to external stimuli, such as noises, smells, or emotions.
It is a profound way of perceiving and processing information.
Empathy can also be situational, meaning one can react empathetically in certain situations, whereas high sensitivity is a permanent trait that accompanies people in all aspects of their lives.
Empathy is more of an emotional ability, while high sensitivity is a neurological and psychological trait.
Listening and perceiving the vibrations
Whether they fit together or not – that depends on many factors. It is deeply human. Often we don't listen enough in everyday life to perceive subtleties.
Music can then help. It expresses what we no longer hear.
Expressed in a song, the positive reinforcement of empathy and high sensitivity might sound like this:
On good days
There is only here and now
I don't look left and right
Maybe forward, but never back
- An empathetic person with high sensitivity may be able to deeply empathize with the emotions of others and thereby develop a deeper understanding and compassion for their experiences.
- Highly sensitive individuals can recognize subtle emotional signals due to their fine perception, enabling them to be attentive and supportive in interpersonal relationships.
- Empathy and high sensitivity together can help people develop a high level of sensitivity to the needs of others and respond empathetically to them.
However, the exact opposite can also be the case. Here is the sensitizing background music fitting the following sentences:
'Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
- The strong sensitivity of highly sensitive individuals can lead them to be overwhelmed by the emotions of others and have difficulty maintaining their own boundaries.
- Empathetic people with high sensitivity may tend to internalize the emotions of others too strongly, neglecting their own well-being.
- The high emotional reactivity of highly sensitive individuals can make it difficult to maintain an appropriate distance and not interfere too much in the problems of others, ultimately leading to emotional exhaustion.
Who is your role model?
As long as competencies and traits remain faceless, they are hard to grasp. Therefore, I have randomly picked individuals who might inspire you.
I have such individuals in my immediate surroundings. Maybe you should consider: who is your Audrey, your Diana, or your Carl?
The late actress Audrey Hepburn is often described as a very empathetic person.
She was intensely involved in humanitarian causes and worked as a UNICEF ambassador. Her compassion and sensitivity were evident in her efforts for disadvantaged children around the world.
Princess Diana, also known as Lady Diana, was known for her exceptional empathy and compassion. She passionately advocated for charitable causes, especially for people with HIV/AIDS, the homeless, and victims of landmines. Diana was famous for her ability to connect with people on an emotional level and provide them with comfort and support.
Carl Rogers was an American psychologist and psychotherapist who is considered one of the founders of humanistic psychology. He was known for his empathetic and non-directive approach to psychotherapy. Rogers' ability to empathize with his clients' experiences and feelings and show them unconditional positive regard shaped his therapeutic work.
However, these qualities are by no means exclusive. Especially in my work with children, I experience and learn every day how empathetic and sensitive children are. Whether they express this positively (showing concern, nurturing friendships, being curious) or negatively (bullying, disrupting, rebelling) – it is essential to observe.
Empathy and high sensitivity are an explosive mix, especially in the uncertain times of recent history.
Here are two individuals who show us the strength of empathy and sensitivity magnificently:
Greta Thunberg recognized the global phenomenon of climate change as a teenager and campaigned with extraordinary dedication for environmental protection. Her empathy for nature and future generations motivated her to draw attention worldwide to the urgency of action and inspire young people to advocate for a sustainable future.
Malala Yousafzai is the youngest Nobel Peace Prize laureate of all time. When she was 15 years old, she was attacked by the Taliban for advocating for girls' right to education. Despite this traumatic experience, she used her empathy and high sensitivity to advocate for educational justice and children's rights worldwide. She demonstrated incredible resilience and inspired a global movement for education and equality.
My Nuggets for my Audience
As a speaker, I prefer not to give concrete advice to my audience in this area. But I have learned methods and practices to accept empathy and high sensitivity as positive traits and use them meaningfully. At the same time, they help protect against "insensitive people" and negative external influences:
- Self-acceptance and self-care: Accept your empathy and high sensitivity as part of your unique personality. Recognize their strengths and value. Pay attention to your own needs and take care of yourself by regularly scheduling time for rest, relaxation, and self-care.
- Setting boundaries: Learn to recognize and respect your own boundaries. Be aware of how much emotional or sensory stimulation you can handle and learn to say "no" when you are overwhelmed. Set clear boundaries in relationships and openly communicate your needs.
- Self-reflection and mindfulness: Take time for self-reflection and mindfulness to better understand your own feelings and needs.
Pay attention to your emotions, bodily sensations, and energy levels. This can help you consciously and purposefully use your empathy and high sensitivity.
- Dealing with opposition: Be aware that not everyone will understand or appreciate your sensitivity and empathy. Set clear boundaries when confronted with insensitive people, and try not to let their negative remarks or actions affect you personally. Surround yourself with people who support you and appreciate your empathy.
- Creating positive environments: Create environments that are conducive to your empathy and high sensitivity. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Find ways to engage in social or charitable projects where your sensitivity is valued and utilized.
- Strengthening through knowledge and exchange: Educate yourself on empathy, high sensitivity, and related topics. Education and expanding your knowledge can help you better understand and utilize your traits.
Look for opportunities to exchange with like-minded individuals, whether through local groups, online forums, or books.
My Perfect Match Conclusion
Both empathy and high sensitivity are associated with an increased sensitivity to emotions and moods. People who are highly sensitive can often more easily recognize and empathize with the emotions of others.
Both traits can lead to a deep connection with other people. Empathetic individuals and highly sensitive persons may have a strong need for emotional closeness and authenticity in their relationships.
Both empathy and high sensitivity can enable people – yes, they can enable you specifically – to perceive subtle details and nuances that others may overlook.
"Listen – perceive the background music – have role models – become a role model"
This can help you gain deep insights into interpersonal dynamics and situations. Last but not least, this is an incredibly valuable future skill in the workplace, in everyday life, in every relationship!
Speakers
