How to master conflicts skillfully

Conflicts exist everywhere where there are people. This is completely normal and legitimate. The question is just how do we deal with them when they arise? Although, by then it is often already too late. It is much more skillful to act preventively and not wait too long until emotions boil over, but to engage in dialogue in a timely manner and approach each other openly. But how can we make that work? The following basic idea is important here: Saying nothing can work when it concerns minor things and issues. It becomes problematic when, for example, the behavior of a fellow human bothers me to the extent that I begin to appreciate them less. If this emotion builds up, and I get more annoyed each time, the emotion is at risk of tipping over, leading to an overreaction such as an attack or outburst, which only escalates the conflict further. What to do? Approach each other appreciatively and openly and honestly engage in dialogue with each other in a timely manner. And this works in these 5 simple steps. 1. Observation You describe a factual observation based on numbers, data, facts. For example: "Eva, in the last 3 meetings, you have been late by 3-7 minutes each time. On Monday, it was 5 minutes, Wednesday 3, and yesterday 7 minutes." 2. Feeling Communicate your emotional state, creating awareness for your concern and preventing an attack like "You are always late!". Therefore, it is better to say here: "Eva, that upsets me in the meeting because it throws me off and disrupts the attention of everyone." 3. Basic Need Now communicate your basic need. Say what is important to you and why, for example: "It is very important to me that we adhere to certain framework conditions, as only then can a fair collaboration work. Otherwise, everyone could do as they please, leading to chaos." 4. Desire Now express a concrete wish to your counterpart so they know what you want now: "And that's why I wish for you to reliably stick to the times. If it is not possible to be punctual once, then I wish for you to inform me in advance." 5. Benefit In the final step, explain what the benefit of the behavior change is. For example, you can say here: "This way, we can be more efficient in meetings because there are fewer interruptions, and you can better grasp the content without having to ask everything again!"