Leadership Arises from Self-Leadership
By Antje Heimsoeth In today's working world, success requires not only professional expertise but above all a wealth of soft skills that give individuals the competence to deal well with special, challenging situations. This is especially true for leaders. Mental and emotional strength play a crucial role in handling challenges. Self-respect, self-confidence, courage, clarity, and optimism are just a few of the qualities that are essential at the top. I would like to share with you the story of an old Chinese woman who fetched her water daily from the river with two bowls carried on either end of a pole. [caption id="attachment_1352" align="alignright" width="232"]
- Antje Heimsoeth -[/caption>
The Cracked Bowl (Author unknown)
One of these two bowls had a crack, while the other was flawless and always held a full portion of water. At the end of her journey from the river to the old woman's house, one bowl was always only half full. For two years, the old woman only brought home one and a half bowls of water. The flawless bowl was naturally very proud of its performance, but the poor bowl with the crack was ashamed of its flaw and was saddened that it could only accomplish half of what it was made for. After two years that seemed like endless failure, the bowl spoke to the old woman: "I am so ashamed of my crack, from which water leaks all the way to your house." The old woman smiled. "Have you noticed that flowers bloom on your side of the path, but not on the side of the other bowl? I planted flower seeds on your side of the path because I was aware of your flaw. Now you water them every day as we walk home. For two years, I was able to pick these beautiful flowers and decorate the table with them. If you were not just the way you are, this beauty would not exist and grace our home."
The old woman demonstrates several key factors of mental strength here:
Focus on Strengths Instead of Weaknesses
The old woman was aware of the weakness of one of her bowls. But she also knew how to transform it into beauty instead of dwelling on its flaw. Our society is predominantly deficit-oriented. It is mostly about reducing mistakes and fixing weaknesses. However, it is much more helpful for progress to highlight what is already there and not just what is missing. Employees have individual talents and handle tasks differently. Therefore, especially for leaders: Distribute jobs and tasks in a way that suits the people. Only then can peak performance be achieved. Those who are aware of their strengths and are allowed to use them can confidently address their weaknesses and work on them. However, if mainly weaknesses are pointed out, one can hardly lift their gaze to perceive the existing strengths.
Get Out of Self-Devaluation!
No one is free from mistakes. Things do not always succeed at first. But those who do not process their disappointment over weaknesses or failures contribute to a negative development: their own efforts seem futile, self-esteem and self-confidence decrease, while stress, doubt, and fear increase. This blocks progress and may lead to further poor performance. When looking at mistakes, it is not about blame but about causes. Admit your mistakes and analyze them precisely. Do not measure employees by their mistakes but by how constructively they deal with them afterwards.
Gratitude is the Fastest Way to Happiness (Barry Neil Kaufman)
It may sound banal and yet is challenging for many of us: If we reflect every day on the good in our lives with gratitude and optimism, this helps us in the long run to maintain a positive attitude - and this supports us especially when life presents us with challenges, whether professionally or personally. Keep a gratitude journal: Write down what good things happened to you during the day - small gestures, positive experiences, enriching encounters, bird songs in the morning, etc. This way, you will sustainably strengthen your satisfaction.
The old woman did not lament her cracked bowl and complain that she only had one and a half bowls of water available when she arrived home after a long journey. On the contrary, she allowed something meaningful to emerge from a weakness and was grateful for the flowers that the bowl brought her.
Only Those Who Can Lead Themselves Can Lead Others
There are numerous factors that make up mental and emotional strength. None of these are built overnight. But those who work on themselves and their inner attitude, their thinking and behavior patterns, develop further and thereby gain full access to their strengths, abilities, and potentials. In a time characterized by change and speed, leaders are needed whose self-leadership is as good as their leadership style towards employees.
For more information, you can find in my new book: "Chefsache Kopf. Mit mentaler und emotionaler Stärke zu mehr Führungskompetenz"
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Published by Springer Gabler | ISBN 978-3-658-05774-9 | 205 pages, 29.99 Euros ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Antje Heimsoeth, expert in self-leadership, mental strength, and motivation, Dipl. Ing. (FH), is internationally active as a mental coach, speaker, and bestselling author. Since 2003, she has been running her institute in Rosenheim, the SportNLP Academy® and Leadership Academy, where she offers seminars, training, and coaching in the areas of business, health, and sports. She was awarded "Speaker of the Year 2014". TV appearances on Sport1, hamburg1, BR, and Sky as well as on AIDA. Antje Heimsoeth has already documented her practical knowledge in several books and regularly publishes articles in professional and popular media. Find out more on her profile.
