A Coaching Protocol
This coaching protocol is a case study:
"Hello Mrs. X, come quickly into the house! The weather is terrible today!" I say to the client. She enters the hallway in front of my practice and takes off her thick coat. She is small and delicate and appears particularly unsure on her feet. I have known her for a while. We have worked together several times before. After we have comfortably settled down and the hot cappuccino is on the table, I ask her how she is doing. She had told me on the phone about an accident with her horse, in which she suffered a painful coccyx fracture.
Mrs. X: It's okay, it has to be! My back still hurts, but the doctors said I should move as much as possible and not lie down all the time.
Coach nods: I can imagine! Lying down for too long can be very unfavorable for the musculoskeletal system.
Mrs. X: Yes, that's why I wanted to start working with my Dr. Hu again.
Coach: Who is Dr. Hu? A therapist or a doctor?
Mrs. X smiles: No, that's my beloved stallion, whom I gifted myself seven years ago for Christmas.
Coach impressed: That sounds great! But - didn't you have the accident with a horse?
Mrs. X: Yes, that was Dr. Hu!
Coach: How did that happen?
Mrs. X: While riding on a farm road, a large motorcycle suddenly overtook me and backfired at that moment. Dr. Hu got terribly scared. He reared up and then lifted his front hooves. That's when I fell off the horse and ended up under his hooves.
Coach: Oh dear! And that's how you broke your coccyx?
Mrs. X: Yes, and suffered several bruises and abrasions. Mrs. X smiles uncomfortably, sits up in the chair, and strokes her back.
Coach: In other words - you want to work on the accident with me today?
Mrs. X: No, not really. I don't think I have a problem with that...
Coach: ...but?
Mrs. X: Since that day, there's been another issue!
Coach: In what situation? With whom? And how?
Mrs. X: Well, I have two dogs and Dr. Hu. The dogs obey me without question - always have! Dr. Hu too - but not anymore after the accident! And honestly, Mrs. Lönne, I haven't told anyone, but suddenly I'm afraid of horses! I get overwhelmed just by having to go to the stable! Imagine, I can't take care of my horse anymore because just the sight of those big eyes makes me break out in a sweat.
A few tears escape from the client's eyes.
Coach: How have you organized things at the moment? Dr. Hu needs to be taken care of and exercised.
Mrs. X dabs the tears from her face with a colorful butterfly handkerchief: Oh, I've been lucky. Shortly after the accident, a student asked if she could help out at the stable, and since I wasn't supposed to go to the stable or ride on medical advice back then, I immediately hired her as an assistant.
Coach: Is that working well? Is she getting along with Dr. Hu?
Mrs. X: Yes, Mrs. Lönne, but now I want to take care of and ride my beloved stallion myself. And I can't! The client sobs.
Coach reassuringly: Then we will now determine what's going on inside you when you think about the stable, horses, and riding. But first, if you agree, I would like to clarify and, if necessary, rework the accident. Is that okay with you? The client nods.
Coach: First, I would like to use the O-ring test, which you are already familiar with from our sessions, to test and work on incidents, perceptions, and consequences from the accident.
Mrs. X: Okay, Mrs. Lönne. We will test what causes you stress: the day of the accident, the date of the day, the time, the sound of the motorcycle, the motorcycle itself, the driver, Dr. Hu's sudden rearing, Mrs. X's fall, the coccyx injury, the hospital admission, the doctors, the treatment... And we find anger and outrage towards the motorcyclist. Surprise and helplessness during Dr. Hu's rearing. Fear, confusion, shock during the fall, horror at the bone cracking.
Situations in the hospital, with the doctors, and the treatment... are okay! That means the ring she forms between her index finger and thumb holds steady. Then we test the current situation and find stress in the stable and when dealing with horses in general, and then, especially, when interacting with Dr. Hu. We also test if it's okay to start with the issue of Dr. Hu. I suspect that this is where the root of the problem lies.
Coach: Mrs. X, Dr. Hu is causing you stress! The ring between your thumb and index finger opens, indicating stress. We test one by one where the stress comes from in time. When we reach the past, the ring opens again. We specify the age in ten-year increments. The test remains strong until the age of ten. When the age is under ten, the ring opens. The client grimaces and shows pronounced stress symptoms: a pained expression, tense body posture, a shaky voice.
Coach: Has anything come to mind at the moment?
Mrs. X nods: Yes, when I was nine years old, I stayed with a foster family on a farm because my parents had a serious car accident and couldn't take care of me for several months.
Coach: Okay, let's test it! The test clearly confirms that there must have been an event at the age of nine. And that this event was associated with emotions that were triggered by the current riding accident. Mrs. X appears extremely tense. I continue testing where the event took place: in the family, school, neighborhood, among friends... Everything tests strong! We continue testing: in the personal environment, among acquaintances, with strangers... Only the personal environment causes stress.
Coach: The personal environment was related to the parents' accident, events at school, with friends... The parents' accident tests weak! Mrs. X furrows her brow, fully concentrated.
The testing continues: It had a direct connection to the parents' accident, the hospital, the consequences... Consequences test weak! Mrs. X looks up: "Could there have been something related to the foster family?" I nod and continue testing: It has to do with the foster family, the farmhouse, something on the farm... Something on the farm tests weak. But what? We test: It's the farmhouse, the residents, the furnishings, the room for the little Anke - that's the client's name. I use the first name now because my intuition tells me we are getting closer to the goal. All this clearly does not cause her stress.
Mrs. X: And now? I take her hand with a soothing gesture: "We have so many options that lead us to the goal! The stress was triggered by the vehicles, machines, animals..." Animals test weak! The client suddenly widens her eyes.
Mrs. X: Mrs. Lönne, there was something! I stumbled and fell at some point!
Coach: The stress today with the stable, horses, and Dr. Hu is related to an event at the age of nine
in the stable, on the pasture, on the farm... The term "stable" causes the ring between the thumb and index finger to open.
Mrs. X with a gasp: The TURKEY!
Mrs. Lönne, I fell in the stable and lay in the hay among the turkeys. It was terrible!
She starts to cry. I firmly take the client's hand and continue testing unfazed: It was the fall, the hay, the turkeys... Everything tests strong. Mrs. X shakes her head.
Coach: It was something with ONE turkey. That's causing stress!
Coach: Did the turkey attack you?
Mrs. X shakes her head again.
Coach: It was something the turkey did. The test for that is really weak. I move on immediately: It touched, hurt, kicked Anke... Everything tests strong.
Coach swiftly: It was something with the beak, the head, the feet,
the feathers, the eyes...
Eyes test weak.
Coach: It was the eyes, it looked at Anke, it was a malicious gaze...
The test result here is also weak! We then test the emotions triggered by the evil gaze during Anke
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