The Chameleon Effect - Connect Yourself!

Emanuel Macron has it. Likewise Christine Lagarde, Howard Schultz, and affectionately meant, my "witch," Dr. Wolf, who sensibly takes care of her patients' health. And not to forget, my brother, the best salesman I know. Different personality types, united by one thing: they resonate with their counterpart. Through their behavior, they generate trust, appear convincing, inspiring, and people follow them. If you also want to communicate successfully, then you must connect with your counterpart. If there is no connection, we achieve nothing. It is also called "rapport" or the "chameleon effect." Nonverbal resonance is power! Creating resonance - being on the same "wavelength" - is natural. This was already explained 45 years ago by the psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist, and hypnotist Milton H. Erickson. "Resonating" is established through verbal, but especially nonverbal, similarity. Adapt your body language to the situation and that of your conversation partner and behave similarly. Practice synchronous body language. This means approaching your counterpart nonverbally. This makes you involuntarily likable. "People like people who are like them? Just like us! Or they like people who are how they want to be." This mostly unconscious mirroring technique is about imitating the gestures, facial expressions, body postures, voice, and breathing of the conversation partner. We encounter this chameleon effect everywhere people are in sync, in connection, trusting each other. Think of a bar. You have surely observed that people who like each other synchronize nonverbally: if one leans forward, so does the conversation partner. If one reaches for the glass, the other does too. If one nods, the other nods at the same pace... This technique can also be consciously used to quickly establish a positive, familiar relationship with the conversation partner. The basis for this is the "Common Code Approach." When we perceive a body language movement, the motor center in the brain is implicitly activated to perform a movement or imitation. And now comes the fact that we are conditioned from head to toe. Take nodding, for example. If I nod, it means "yes," and if my counterpart imitates nodding, their brain also says "yes." "Behavior change is achieved through movement. Movement moves thoughts." 4 stages to resonate/build rapport: 1. Matching: Perceive the body language of the other person consciously. Now adjust your own body language initially to a maximum of 50 percent to that of the conversation partner. 2. Mirroring: Body posture, gestures, facial expressions, voice, and language are increasingly synchronized. Attention: Acting respectfully has the highest priority. 3. On the same wavelength: Here, there is almost complete nonverbal symmetry. 4. Leading: Here, you start leading your body language to that of the counterpart. Example: If an employee is very down, I first make contact with them through matching and mirroring (by adopting a similar body posture). If there is resonance, then I start leading them out of the hopeless posture through a gradual positive body language. How to mirror? 1. Never everything. That is mocking! 2. Selective mirroring: Rule of thumb: Only perform the behavior that suits you. 3. Mirror delayed! Always delayed and only when I start speaking, "Yes, you know..." and at the same time change the body language. 4. With the utmost respect and full respect! Examples of nonverbal adjustments - WITHOUT "imitating": Body posture: If someone is sitting upright, then I lift my sternum. If someone is very relaxed in the chair, then I do the same. Gestures: If someone speaks very expressively with gestures, then do the same. If someone is reserved, then do the same. Facial expressions: If someone is telling a story with enthusiasm, do not put on a poker face. Breathing: Do you know someone with whom you are very close, very connected? Have you noticed that you breathe the same way in positive emotional situations? So, use this tool. Proxemics: Adapt to the desired territory of your counterpart. Does he need more space or greater distance, or can you get closer to him?