The Myths of Body Language

Crossing arms means disinterest. If someone touches their nose, they are lying. If they look up and to the right, they are constructing an untrue story. You know these statements, right? And they are nonsense! A single signal has little significance. What should you pay attention to in order to perceive and assess your negotiating partner correctly? Here are some suggestions: **A single signal has little significance** A single signal hardly conveys anything, just as the content of a sentence cannot be crystallized from a single word. Signals must occur more frequently or in combination with others to convey something. Perceivable clusters must exist. Only multiple body language signals lead to a statement. One must always consider the entire person. **The individual nonverbal pattern** Everyone has their individual body language, their baseline. Therefore, always observe a person's usual body language behavior first. What should you pay attention to? Memorize their typical facial expressions, body posture, arm movements, stance, sitting position, and general body language expressions. If the baseline changes during the conversation, then you should be attentive. **The body is more powerful than words** Always pay attention to incongruent, i.e., inconsistent behavior. Words do not match the body language. Imagine you are in a negotiation and want to discuss the disadvantages. Your counterpart responds, "Trust me, you'll be on the safe side with that," while simultaneously brushing some imaginary lint off their jacket. Or someone says, "I'm open to anything," while intertwining their fingers. The body says something different from the words. And who is telling the truth? Of course, the body. **Never neglect the context** Let's say, as a leader, you warmly embrace one of your female employees, with colleagues watching. What might they think? "Ah, this employee is being favored," or even "Oh, something is going on between them!" When in reality, you were just consoling her because her child is seriously ill in the hospital. Or: You are in a meeting with employees, suddenly yawn and stretch your arms forward. What will your team think? That you find the suggestions boring or the meeting is too long. No one knows that you just had a long-haul flight and are fighting jet lag. Furthermore, body language varies in different situations, depending on social and professional norms, cultural customs, gender, and the expectations of listeners, employees, and colleagues. As a leader, you will behave and move differently in your own company than in a foreign company. You will speak differently with an equal colleague than with a subordinate. Depending on the situation, your body language will also adapt. Pay attention to the baseline, cluster formation, context, and incongruent behavior, and you will recognize the messages WITHOUT words. Learn to recognize the intentions of the other person through targeted perception. It requires practice, but with the right tools, anyone can improve in this area. Anyone can learn this; the solution: practice makes perfect.