Do you criticize your supervisor? No, I don't mean informal gossiping with colleagues in the coffee kitchen or cafeteria. I mean direct, honest criticism, not via email, but face to face. In my experience, many people find it difficult to give critical feedback. Towards colleagues in the team – but especially towards supervisors. Of course, there are reasons for that. Unfortunately, there are always bosses who can't handle critical feedback. These are people who have low self-esteem and therefore mainly promote agreeable yes-men. People who are similar to them and ideally just say what they want to hear. With such superiors, employees who express criticism quickly become targets.
Isolated supervisors
Fortunately, in my perception, these supervisors are the exception. Most supervisors I deal with suffer from not receiving critical feedback often enough. Recently, a coaching client who is a managing director told me, "I often feel very lonely. I talk all day with my colleagues. But honest feedback is very rare. And when it does come, it's mostly positive. I have to actively demand criticism – and even then, it's usually just diplomatic phrases."
Pleasing culture doesn't help
This lady is not alone. Like many other supervisors, she is a victim of a pleasing culture that is very widespread. The reason: most people want a conflict-free, harmonious work environment. They avoid arguments and friction. Therefore, it makes sense that they do not send unpleasant messages, especially to their bosses. This way, they avoid friction and perhaps unpleasant reactions. But this silence comes at a high price. If honest, critical feedback does not happen – a lot is lost. Especially the opportunity to learn and improve together. And a lot builds up. Because the unsaid is still there: as pent-up frustration, or even anger or as negative judgment. And people feel that, even if nothing critical is said to them.
What to do with false harmony?
It is all the more important that supervisors actively counteract. The best ways: In meetings, from day one, ask for critical and positive feedback promptly – and frequently and sincerely. This official invitation for honest criticism sends the message: there is room for criticism here. Ask for more when you feel that too much is left unsaid. This way, employees realize: "Even if I say nothing, my criticism is noticeable. It's a relief for everyone when we talk about this unsaid." Lead by example. It often works wonders when bosses honestly criticize their bosses. Be it in a meeting or a company assembly. Those who express criticism here openly and respectfully send the message: I am doing what I wish from you. Bring on your criticism!
