A Cruise, Three Massages, and a Surprising Lesson About Customer Experience
It was the third morning on the Baltic Sea. Outside, the rugged and majestic coastline of Scandinavia drifted by—Copenhagen and Oslo were already behind me, and Gothenburg was next on the itinerary.
On board the cruise ship, the atmosphere reflected the perfectly orchestrated calm one expects from premium service. For this journey, I had booked three massages.
The first two appointments followed a predictable pattern. The therapist professionally explained the technique she would use and delivered the treatment flawlessly. It was technically excellent. It was faultless. But it was also exactly that: a standard process executed at a very high level.
On the third day, a different therapist took over.
As I lay down on the massage table, I asked out of curiosity:
“What technique will we be using today?”
He paused for a moment and replied:
“You know, during the first few minutes, I’m simply going to feel your back very carefully. I want to understand where the tension and blockages are before deciding which type of massage will benefit you most today.”
That single sentence changed everything.
Suddenly, I was no longer just another guest with a scheduled treatment. I felt seen as an individual—with my specific tensions, challenges, and current condition.
The result?
It became the best massage of the entire trip.
Not necessarily because of the technique itself, but because of the feeling of being understood.
The Fundamental Human Need: Individuality Instead of Standardization
What happened that morning is a perfect example of successful personalization.
People want to be recognized as individuals, especially in a time when so many processes have become automated, digitized, and standardized.
We do not want to feel like part of a system.
We want to feel that someone genuinely cares about us.
That is where trust begins.
The difference between a standardized process and a meaningful relationship often has less to do with the service itself and more to do with the perception of individual attention.
Yet many companies still rely on the “one-size-fits-all” principle:
- standardized sales conversations
- identical customer journeys
- scripted communication
- rigid leadership approaches
In doing so, they often forget that behind every customer number and every employee stands a unique personality.
Why Personalization Is Critical for Customer Loyalty and Business Success
McKinsey Study: Customers Expect Individualized Experiences
The international study “Next in Personalization” by McKinsey & Company provides compelling evidence:
- 71% of customers expect personalized interactions
- 76% become frustrated when they do not receive them
- Companies that excel at customer intimacy generate up to 40% more revenue from these activities
The message is clear:
Personalization is no longer an optional extra—it is a fundamental requirement for successful customer relationships.
Qualtrics: People Prefer Brands That Treat Them as Individuals
According to research conducted by the Qualtrics Experience Management Institute:
- 81% of customers prefer brands that treat them like individuals
The moment people feel they are merely another number in a database, emotional engagement begins to decline.
That is when price comparisons start.
That is when switching becomes more attractive.
That is when a relationship turns into a transaction.
Salesforce: Relevance Creates Loyalty
The “State of the Connected Customer” report by Salesforce reaches a similar conclusion:
- 73% of customers expect companies to understand their unique needs and expectations
Organizations that meet these expectations create a competitive advantage that cannot easily be challenged by price alone.
True customer loyalty is not built through discounts.
It is built through relevance, understanding, and trust.
The Art of “Feeling the Back” in Business
What Companies Can Learn from This Massage Experience
The important question is:
How can this principle be applied in business?
In a business context, “feeling the back” means:
- understanding before advising
- listening before selling
- analyzing before presenting solutions
Successful leaders, consultants, and sales professionals do not rely exclusively on standard processes.
They observe.
They listen.
They understand the personality of the person in front of them.
They adapt their communication accordingly.
Because an analytical individual requires a different approach than an emotional decision-maker.
A security-oriented customer responds differently than a visionary entrepreneur.
A senior executive needs different impulses than a young professional.
Personality Analysis as the Key to Effective Communication
Anyone who wants to create lasting impact must first understand how people think, decide, and act.
Only when the other person feels:
“This is truly about me and my specific situation.”
does openness emerge.
Only then does trust develop.
And only then can meaningful transformation occur.
This is why topics such as:
- personality analysis
- leadership
- customer understanding
- customer experience
- emotional intelligence
- appreciative communication
are becoming increasingly important for organizations.
Standards Create Reliability – Individuality Creates Enthusiasm
Of course, standards matter.
Structured processes provide quality, reliability, and efficiency.
But standards should never replace the human element.
The process is the foundation.
The individual interaction creates the emotional connection.
That is the difference between an average customer experience and an extraordinary one.
Reflection Questions for Leaders, Sales Professionals, and Organizations
Ask yourself the following questions:
Are we truly addressing the individual needs of our customers?
Do we listen carefully enough before presenting solutions?
Do we understand the personality of the person in front of us, or do we treat everyone the same?
Where have our processes already shifted into autopilot mode?
Where could we introduce more humanity and individuality?
Often, these seemingly small adjustments determine the success of customer retention, employee engagement, and long-term business growth.
Conclusion: People Remember How You Made Them Feel
People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But they will always remember how they felt in your presence.
Anyone who wants to build lasting trust must make people feel seen, understood, and valued.
Because true customer focus, effective leadership, and sustainable employee retention all begin with the same ability:
A genuine interest in people.
Karsten Homann is one of the most sought-after experts in decision-making, leadership, and psychological safety. In his keynotes, he demonstrates what strengthens teams, accelerates decision-making, and makes collaboration more successful.
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