In an interview with fussball.news, Rafati now talks about his new job, his suicide attempt, and criticizes the DFB.
fussball.news:Mr. Rafati, how are you?
Babak Rafati:Fortunately, I am doing well again and fully engaged in life. Back then, it was hellish torment that I endured, but now I can say: all's well that ends well.
fussball.news:After your suicide attempt in 2011, you ended your career as a referee. What are you currently doing professionally?
Rafati:Currently, I work as a keynote speaker in the business world and collaborate with twenty agencies. I give lectures on topics such as performance pressure, stress management, and burnout prevention. My clients are very diverse. Sometimes it's a medical congress in Mallorca, other times a meeting of executives in Zurich. The topics are not only related to sports but extend throughout the professional world in our society. Even in 100 years, performance pressure, bullying, and burnout will still be relevant.
fussball.news:What sparked your passion for refereeing?
Rafati:Refereeing is a very special discipline. Like almost all referees, I initially played football myself, but then realized I wasn't good enough for the top level. So, I looked for an area where I could potentially reach the highest level.
At 16, I obtained my first referee license and was able to officiate youth games. I enjoyed it immensely. From there, my career as a referee gained momentum. During my time as a referee, I especially enjoyed taking on responsibility and acting in the name of justice. It was also fascinating to deal with many different personalities. I had an incredible amount of fun for 23 years, but not in the last two years.
fussball.news:What was the most positive experience of your career?
Rafati:The reaction of Bastian Schweinsteiger after my suicide attempt was very touching. Three days later, he sent me a message: 'I wish you all the best. In life, we fall many times, but we must always get back up one more time. It was great times with you.' He knew that I would never return to the field, so his gesture during the toughest phase of my life was outstanding. Even a statement from Lukas Podolski, which I read, really lifted my spirits. He mentioned that you could joke around with me even in the locker room.
fussball.news:Your suicide attempt at the time was driven by your work as a referee. You mentioned brutal laws of the relentless "financial machinery with all its facets." What did you mean by that?
Rafati:I have been asked countless times what I meant by that. I actually want to close that chapter. The other side doesn't say anything about it, so it doesn't help us move forward. I have found peace, it's about the issue, not the person. The fact that referees have finally spoken out in the media and criticized the handling of referee officials at the DFB and DFL shows how explosive and current the issue is.
I know what I'm talking about. I was almost in the grave. Fundamentally, it's about the profile of requirements and how we want to interact with each other. If nothing changes there, we will see more suicide attempts. The motto is: Those who look away are complicit. It's unbelievable that the DFB didn't reach out to me. It would be better if we talked to each other instead of talking about each other in public. Maybe things will change after the election of a new president, and the media battles will end.
fussball.news:After your fortunately failed first suicide attempt, you mentioned that you had planned to carry out the second attempt. How did the therapists manage to change your mindset?
Rafati:Someone who has spiraled so far down sees only that way out. I wanted to end this terrible movie where I was treated so inhumanely. Referee assessors and journalists were assigned to get rid of me. Today, I laugh about it and think, how stupid was I to want to kill myself? But when the brain is sick, it doesn't think for the brain. I also want to emphasize again: ultimately, my superiors from the associations were not to blame for the situation, but rather I, because I allowed it to happen.
One day after my suicide attempt, I just wanted to get out of the psychiatric clinic, and there were 500 people waiting outside for me. I was then discharged, on the condition that I pick up my ID at the police station. When I arrived there, I was interrogated by four completely unfamiliar police officers and bombarded with questions, even though I hadn't even talked to my wife about it.
But the worst part was when they told me at the police headquarters: 'Mr. Zwanziger (Note: then DFB president) was here. The DFB requests that you contact them.' I couldn't believe that I was asked to contact the association and not the other way around. All the anger resurfaced in me. After that, I went to the hotel to pick up my remaining belongings. Due to the incident, I wanted to throw myself out of the moving car at a major intersection on the way there. Fortunately, my mother-in-law was sitting next to me and threw herself on me.
fussball.news:According to your statement, since November 2011, no one from the DFB has spoken to you, not even the former DFB president Theo Zwanziger. In a brochure on homosexuality in football, the association emphasizes a social duty of care in football and promotes "respect and recognition for all people." Do you think the association is displaying double standards?
Rafati:Personally, I am not aware of cases of homosexuality among referees or players, but I have heard through third parties that they exist. The DFB is far from reality compared to what is communicated in public and on paper. You can't say "hand on heart" and keep your hands in your pockets. I have to clearly say, that is hypocritical.
It would be ideal if these issues were finally addressed under the new president, even internally. I urge him to finally clean up! When Wolfgang Niersbach was interviewed on the fifth anniversary of Robert Enke's death, he admitted that nothing had changed. That speaks volumes. Mr. Zwanziger was at a press conference after my suicide attempt, saw the bathtub I was in, but avoided the person Babak Rafati. Yet, it would have been essential for him to visit me.
fussball.news:Can you take a bath without negative memories coming back, or do they resurface?
Rafati:Yes. By now, I have sat at the edge of the bathtub without negative feelings during documentaries and interviews. In lectures, I can talk about the night in the hotel and the weapons I used against myself without any negative emotions. I only had one trauma - and that was the, from my perspective, inhumane way that two individuals treated me. No one needs to tell me personally, 'I like you.' It would have been better if they openly said that my performance was no longer sufficient, instead of bullying me out.
Now that other referees have also complained about how officials treat them, and have agreed with me, many have contacted me and asked if this is now vindication for me. But that's not the point, I don't need vindication. Let's help each other.
fussball.news:Mr. Rafati, thank you for the interview. We wish you all the best for the future.
For more information, visit:
http://www.esa100.de/redner/babak
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