Walter Kohl in Interview
Speakers Excellence: Mr. Kohl, you are an entrepreneur, coach, and author in a somewhat unusual combination. Your company operates in the automotive supplier industry, but in your speeches, you passionately address the topics of finding meaning and joy in life. How did this topic become so important to you?
Walter Kohl: Even entrepreneurs and automotive suppliers are human beings (laughs). Especially because I find myself in a competitive reality, I know how difficult it is to find a healthy balance between different areas of life.
People strive for more joy, happiness, and success, but this pursuit is often very challenging and full of confusion. For many years, I was on a quest myself, getting entangled in unnecessary and especially unsolvable "why" questions. I used to take defeats, setbacks, and especially perceived injustices personally and saw them as attacks on my self-esteem. Eventually, I realized that I was harming myself through certain old beliefs and my old, often unnecessarily aggressive mentality - and then I started searching for new answers.
To my surprise, I didn't have to search for long. New answers, better ways were practically in front of me - I just hadn't seen them. Two themes stood out in particular: meaning and joy in life, the latter especially in connection with reconciliation, particularly one-sided reconciliation. I define meaning for myself based on the thoughts of Viktor Frankl and his logotherapy. Meaning is situational and linked to our respective roles. It is our response to the specific questions that life poses to us. We are not the ones asking questions, but rather life questions us. This thought deeply moved me and allowed me to fundamentally realign myself. It was important for me to realize that meaning should never be selfish or cater to narcissistic needs. On the contrary, it must always be life-affirming and peace-promoting. Over time, I delved deeper into these topics for myself, was able to shed old baggage, and found much new strength within myself.
When I published my first book "Leben oder gelebt werden" in 2011, I initially thought that such a publication would remain a one-time event in my life, especially since the publisher expressed a lot of skepticism. The opposite happened, and my first book became a bestseller. It was only then, during the course of 2011, that I realized I could contribute something relevant to these topics. I had simply lacked the courage before, but the many positive feedback and the requests from many people for seminars, speeches, and coaching made it clear to me that I also have a mission here. Thus, a new field of activity developed completely unplanned, which now brings me a lot of joy, allows me to help people, and contribute to more personal peace in this world. What could be more beautiful than that?
Speakers Excellence: What gives you personally the strength to pursue your endeavors? What drives you?
Walter Kohl: My motto is: More peace through more personal sovereignty. I want to support people on their path to more inner peace with their biography and sense for their future in a way that effectiveness and authenticity arise in the present. This task is my meaning. The feedback from my seminars, events, and coaching sessions shows me on what fertile ground this motto falls. I draw a lot of strength from this confirmation. I believe that for all people, when we work and live according to our meaning, we become strong, joyful, and enduring.
Speakers Excellence: Many people are robbed of their strength by painful experiences, traumas, or similar. How does one make peace with their emotional wounds and emerge stronger from them?
Walter Kohl: I also know situations where life literally pulls the ground out from under our feet, where we feel completely overwhelmed. For such cases, I have developed a personal method. The first step is: Allow your feelings, be honest with yourself. Admit: Yes, it hurts. Yes, I am full of anger, rage, disappointment, or I feel betrayed, exploited, lied to. It is important to be honest with oneself, and such feelings are part of it. However, I caution against letting these feelings become a permanent state. Grief, anger, rage should not gain dominance over our soul in the long run.
To avoid this, comes the second step: the distinction between WHAT and HOW. WHAT happened? This question should be answered as objectively, neutrally, and emotion-free as possible. For example: X lied to me. Or Y stole from me. Now it is important to realize that WHAT happened cannot be changed anymore, and that any further outrage etc. only leads us to the land of victims, making us prisoners. It is important to acknowledge reality as a fact, as "what happened," even if it hurts. Acknowledging does not mean approving, it simply means accepting that reality is just the way it is.
Through accepting reality, we gain inner distance and new freedom, which we can then use for new solutions, for new answers. I call this the "opportunity of HOW." HOW do we deal with the situation at hand? "Every time has its own answers" is my approach for such situations, which, based on the acceptance of realities, however without submission, leads to an inner realignment. In our new HOW, in our new approach to what we have experienced, lie both the solution to the situation and new inner peace and freedom.
Speakers Excellence: Do many people find it difficult to tap into their own sources of strength? What are the things that usually hold them back?
Walter Kohl: Insecurities, fears of embarrassing oneself, feelings of not being good enough, or simply a "I've never done it this way before" are typical brakes. Often, great relief sets in when the person realizes that many others feel the same way, that they are not a "hopeless case." Ultimately, three things are needed for an inner breakthrough: enough pressure, the will to leave one's comfort zone, and a trustworthy hand to help with the first steps.
Speakers Excellence: Is one a better leader when at peace with oneself?
Walter Kohl: Absolutely. The people around us, whether employees, our own children, or friends, have a very keen sense of whether someone is genuine, authentic, or putting on a show. Authority comes from authenticity and thus from within, from one's own personality. Only those who are clear with themselves can lead clearly.
Speakers Excellence: How much of your own biography do you incorporate into your coaching? Where do you think your experiences can specifically help?
Walter Kohl: I have experienced some crises and ruptures in my life. I am happy to share these experiences to show that I coach based on practical experience. However, a coach must be careful in handling their own biography, as it is always about the coachee first and not about the coach.
Speakers Excellence: What do you value in your coaching sessions? Are there values or skills that you consider particularly essential for a happy and successful life and therefore want to strengthen purposefully?
Walter Kohl: Initially, the potential coachee and I check if we are a good fit, if we can agree on a clear goal, a precise concern, and if I am the suitable coach for this person and their issue. If these three questions are answered with yes, then the concrete work begins.
For me, listening with heart and mind is very important. People come with their concerns, and I initially help build a stage where there is enough space for all the puzzle pieces related to the situation. Important values for me are patience, non-judgment, humor, and the ability for perspective shift, i.e., the willingness to view a situation from completely different perspectives and accept them.
Other important values include strengthening a healthy self-confidence. I phrase it as: Self-Awareness. How aware am I of myself, my needs, but also my weaknesses, fears, strengths, and successes.
I believe that values such as gratitude for what one has (often taken for granted), humility in the sense of courage without arrogance or presumption, passion, endurance, meaning, and inner peace with one's own biography can build bridges for a happier and more fulfilling life.
Experience Walter Kohl live at the 12th Oberbayerisches Wissensforum.
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