Does this sound familiar to you? – Why we avoid the Valley of Tears and what that means for transformation processes
My colleague laughed heartily – and I’m still not entirely sure whether it was out of desperate agreement or simply because it so accurately reflects today’s corporate reality.
Especially in organizational development and change management, we constantly talk about the need to go through the Valley of Tears. And yet, I observe something completely different: hesitation, uncertainty, and even avoidance strategies when it comes to truly guiding people through this emotionally challenging process.
And this happens of all people with those who should be leading the way in times of uncertainty, transformation, and complexity: leaders, managers, project managers – and sometimes even the so-called change experts themselves.
Accepting change – why emotions, the past, and letting go matter so much
Do you recognize yourself or your organization in this? That’s okay. First of all: It is what it is. Stay calm.
However, one thing is certain: if we continue to suppress this topic, it will catch up with us – maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But in 2026, or at the latest 2027. Because people want to grow, and that creates the need for action.
Many believe that emotional sharing is automatically the right solution. But from my perspective, that is not always the appropriate method – especially not in distance-based leadership relationships.
Why there is no positive future without closing the chapter of the past
The good news: the development ahead is actually positive – if we don’t overlook one key aspect.
Anyone who wants to shape a positive, successful future must truly close the past first – emotionally as well.
Organizations can only grow successfully if they let go of emotional baggage, negative experiences, and the energy stored in them. As long as this energy remains stuck, it blocks change, creates resistance, and emotionally ties people to the past.
But what if we could release exactly this trapped energy and use it for creative, productive future design?
Energy management instead of esotericism – why anger and joy share the same energy level
To release energy, we must honestly look at our frustration, anger, and disappointment – not so they stay, but so they can leave.
This isn’t esoteric; it’s simply energy management: anger and joy operate at the same energetic level.
We talk so often about joy, ease, and positive corporate culture – but we forget that this also means experiencing anger. Emotions only work fully – or not at all.
Look at children before we teach them societal norms: pure joy. pure sadness. nothing in between.
A little reminder: You once were that child, too.
Leadership needs emotional competence – even if we never learned it
Maybe you can hear your inner voice saying:
“I never learned how to do this.”
“How is this supposed to work?”
True. Most of us never learned it. And yet, the path is surprisingly clear – even if it isn’t always easy.
How to start: self-reflection, clarity, and honest assessment
Start with yourself. Use this emotional time of year and ask yourself:
- Where do I stand?
- What am I hiding?
- Where do I react with anger?
Which coping strategy do I use? (fight, flight, freeze)
Write it down. Just for yourself.
Some people then want to share their reflections in emotional sharing, others don’t – and that’s completely fine. But one thing connects us all:
People want to be seen, acknowledged, and respected as human beings – not just for performance or achievements. Only then do we create space for development, creativity, growth, and success.
Everything that organizations strive for begins on the emotional level.
Anne Hoffmann combines many years of international leadership experience with a passionate focus on agile ways of working and modern leadership, and she helps people and organizations shape sustainable change with curiosity and clarity.
