Where to put your arms and hands? - Your gestures, the betrayers

Your gestures = the "traitors" of your thoughts and moods You have probably given a lecture, a speech, or a presentation in front of several people before. Or you have actively participated in negotiations, sales conversations, or employee discussions. Whether sitting or standing, the question arises: Where to put your arms and hands? You can be sure that you are not alone with this question. In my seminars and individual training sessions, I repeatedly experience that the desired impact of a competent person and their spoken words on listeners or discussion partners is diminished, sometimes even completely destroyed, by awkward or insecure gestures. And – unsurprisingly, but unhelpful: the individuals in question are not aware of this. How could they be, as natural body language arises directly from moods and thoughts. Our body "translates" these unconsciously into corresponding facial expressions and gestures. Several research results show that the overall impression we have of other people depends to around 60 percent on their appearance (body language, clothing, physique), around 30 percent on their voice, and around 10 percent on the conveyed content. Of course, this assumes that the content is factually correct and truthful. An important component of the 60 percent determining appearance is the answer to the question: Where to put your arms and hands? Whether during small talk, in front of an audience, or in discussions at the table: Your arms and hands always play a role in whether you are perceived as confident or insecure, competent or less competent, and likable or unlikable by your fellow human beings. Has this ever happened to you as well? You attend a presentation and get the impression that the presenter is not coming across well – even though the topic itself is quite interesting. After a while, you start feeling bored and mentally check out to some extent. This is due not only to how the words are spoken but also to the facial expressions and gestures of the person you are listening to (or have to listen to). What can you do yourself to avoid similar performances? One possibility: You could take extensive acting lessons. Admittedly, this solution is usually only found in rare cases with very high-ranking, prominent individuals. And there is always the risk that those trained too briefly might then act poorly. This, in turn, reflects negatively. Another, much more realistic possibility: Treat yourself to training sessions with a coach – individually or in a group, where you receive intensive feedback through video recordings. Just knowing some "basic rules" for arms and hands will help you appear noticeably more confident and convincing. Please remember the three zones where your hands can be: below the waist, at waist level, above the waistline. Only above the waistline do your arms and hands communicate convincingly. Also, pay attention to how you hold your hands in each body zone: Are the palms facing down, towards each other, or upwards? When you move your hands above the waistline with palms facing upwards, you have taken a big step towards being perceived convincingly and positively by others. In addition to these basic rules, there are numerous ways to use gestures. Professional speakers show successful alternatives. It involves aspects such as: When do you use the gesture in relation to your words? How fast or slow do you build up and break down your gestures? How long do you maintain your gestures? Are your upper arms glued to your body? Effective gesturing is not magic. It is, quite literally, pure "craftsmanship" that works well, especially when you carry the mood you want to convey within yourself. The "aha effect" and the benefits you experience through analyzing camera recordings in seminars and individual training sessions are usually significant. Phrases like "I didn't know I came across like that." or "I find my performance unconvincing." are common in this context. Your performance will be truly successful when you consciously consider the interplay of words and body language and adjust them accordingly, if necessary. Because the best rhetoric is as ineffective as strong body language if both do not harmonize. Some people consciously adopt a specific "resting position" for their hands. For example, Angela Merkel is quoted regarding her well-known hand posture (Welt-Online, May 2, 2013): "It was always the question of where to put the arms, and that's how this came about. It may have a certain symmetry." Please decide for yourself how well or poorly you perceive this well-known hand posture. From a body language perspective, it reveals more than just symmetry. You can find more information here: http://www.trainers-excellence.de/redner/peter-a-worel.html